stress

[ChachChach]

stress: exertion of force, compression, weight, burden, oppression.

that, according to "babylon.com" is the defintion of what you feel often. doesnt sound so bad, eh?

symptons of stress:
loss of hair (pulled out over that difficult blatt of gemara or math problem)
loss of appetite (too much ice cream snacked cause of nervousness)
loss/gain of weight (snicker...right...loss...heheh...)
loss of energy (well...lets see...if i have a problem eating away at me, you expect me to be bouncing off the walls?)
turning to forums to try to cope (that would be you, no?:))

dont despair...there are ways to deal with stress. sometimes, the best thing is to deal directly with the problem. feeling like school is overwhelming you? no problem-a chassid is organized. make yourself a schedule, get yourself a chavrusa to help you study, and above all-trust in Hashem:). but sometimes, the problems are beyond our control, bc they involve other ppl. then the only thing to do is to try to cope. there are tons of different ways to cope. one way, as ive discovered, is to bake. so i've posted a recipe here for you to try. see if it helps you out.

chocolate chip oatmeal cookies

preheat oven to 350. beat together 1 cup margarine (or two sticks for the less experienced folks out there), and 1 cup brown sugar and 1/2 cup granulated sugar until creamy. add 2 eggs, 1 tsp vanilla extract. beat well. add 1 and 1/2 cup flour, 1tsp baking soda, 1tsp cinnamon . mix well. stir in 3 cups uncooked oatmeal . mix well. add 1 cup chocolate chips . drop by rounded tablespoonfuls onto floured baking pans. bake 10-12 min. (yeild, 4 dozen) (thank you quaker oats for providing the recipe)

you have no idea how much this will alleviate the stress....if anyone has any other helpful suggestions, feel free to pipe up.

(but dont forget...the bottom line is, as much as you do, you also have to have faith in the One Above)

[PeaceInIsrael]

Chacha, i wouldnt suggest turning to food to alleviate stress.
A healthy way to channel tension and stress etc is physical exercise.

[ChachChach]

oh, no one said you have to actually *eat* the food.:) just give it to the ppl around you, and then they can join you in the exersize

[WanderingJew]

How about going for some exercise first..and then enjoy your reward! By the way, just from first hand experience, doing some form of physical activity totally energizes you, even if you feel like you're about to drop when you're done...
Have a stress-free day!

[ChachChach]

another great way to deal with stress is to do some breathing meditations. breathe in deeply for five seconds, hold your breathe for five seconds, then breathe out for five seconds. do this a few times. you'll see that you'll become more calm and focused (either that or you'll faint...either way, you wont be stressed out anymore).

dont forget-if you're stressed out, try to calm down before going about on your tasks. it takes twice as long to do things when you're going to pieces all over the place.

[Lubamessimaniac]

I'm sorry peoples, but ChachChach is right - chocalate chip cookies are the solution to all the world's problems... :cheesy:

[WanderingJew]

Lub, that's only true when you're in the process of eating it. Once the cookies are gone- you're in trouble again :eek:

[ChachChach]

oh, the cookies may be gone physically, but they hang around you longer than you think....

[RavLub]

Although I don't want to knock the restorative properties of chocolate chip cookies (sorry to say I have never baked any), here are some points about stress.

There are three basic types of stress: 1) the normal stresses of everyday activities, which result in a certain degree of wear and tear on the mind and body, 2) stress from events and circumstances beyond your control, 3)internal pressures which come from fears and worries, sadness and depression.

The way to deal with first type is to get the proper rest and nutrition, so that the mind and body can rejuvenate themselves.

Type two sometimes requires finding someone else to share the burden with, such as family, friends or a mashpia, so that it shouldn't turn into type three.

It is the third type of stress that leads to all kinds of unhealthy and even self-destructive behaviors and habits (I know, because I still have a few that I am trying to overcome since I was a teenager :( ).

This is especially worrisome with todays teenagers who are turning to more and more harmful ways to escape those unpleasant feelings, and the pressures that they generate. However, what they soon discover is that trying to run away from the more painful things in life, only makes them worse, as it says in Mishlei, that what a person fears will catch up with them.

The only way to deal with this type of stress, is to address the root of the problem. That is why Chassidus offers many strategies to deal with negative emotions BEFORE they become entrenched. The Rebbe also suggested on many occasions that people should study (and review as needed) the Chovos HaLevovos (in eng. Duties of the Heart) Shaar HaBitachon.

As the Chovos HaLevovos explains there, someone who has proper bitachon, and believes that Hashem will provide everything they need, and is constantly protecting them from any harm, such a person has no fears and worries etc.

In addition there is a sicha in which the Rebbe explains that the reward for bitachon is that a person receives exactly what they believed they would get, as the Tzemach Tzedek said: "Think good and it will be good."

So, next time you're starting to feel stressed out (and are munching on, or are up to your elbows in the batter of, some chocolate chip cookies), take some time to think about the fact that your thoughts play an important role in how things turn out, and THINK GOOD :D !!!

[Jude]

You mention stress from "activities, events and circumstances," and then "internal emotions," but don't list stress from relationships, i.e. interpersonal stress like that from family, teachers, friends, not-friends, peers ...

[ChachChach]

that's very true jude. that's one major stress in anybody's life:)

also, a lot of times stress comes from the fact that you feel as if your whole life was out of control, that nothing was happening the way that you planned it to. if this was the case for someone, i guess realizing that everything that happens happens for a reason would alleviate some of the stress.

setting realistic goals for yourself might help also. instead of trying to be the best at everything, maybe realize that no one is perfect, and performing according to YOUR standards, and not someone elses, is the most important thing.

[RavLub]

Jude raises a very good point, however Chassidus explains that the strains and stresses of interpersonal relationships, comes mainly from our emotional reactions, rather than the other person. Since emotions grow out of our perceptions, it how we interpret the significance of events that shape our emotional responses.

So actually most interpersonal issues fall into either type two (for example if someone does something harmful or hurtful to you), or type three (worrying what so-and-so thinks of you, fear of being unloved, not being accepted by the crowd etc.).

As I mentioned, Chassidus offers many strategies for different negative emotions (I focused on Bitachon as a more general one). Amongst those straregies are the ones that Chach mentions, namely the awareness that everything happens for a reason and is by Divine Providence, as well as the idea that R' Zushe of Anipoli conveyed so succinctly - "when I come upstairs, they won't ask me why I didn't become Moshe Rabbeinu, they will ask me why I didn't become Zushe."

[bored770]

However u vent your stress, don't punch things which can brake, b/c then u get even more stressed when u have to explain why there is a hole in the door :o Try a brick wall it hurts u when u hit it so u stop faster!!!!!

[Neshama]

Very true, bored770 :)
Everytime i'm frustrated/stressed/ angry and decide to take my anger out by throwing things i always get in to more trouble!

[ChachChach]

try talking...talking helps

[Clip]

Many times people say stupid things when they're angry, things they'll regret later. Hence, talking is not always a good idea.

We disagree once again. :D

[ChachChach]

i meant talk to your friends
:)
oh, dear
i sense a pattern emerging.

anyway, even when you talk to your friends, you're right about watching what you say (gasp! did i just agree? arrgh). bc even if they're your friends, you shouldnt be using foul language or complaining just stam-that would be considered lashon hara. although i did learn once that if you're talking to someone about someone else, bc it'll help you solve a problem, its not considered lashon hara

[Clip]

Fine, fine, I can take a hint! :p

What if you're talking about someone in an ATTEMPT to solve a problem, but it just goes 'round in circles so that you KNOW it will do that? What of it then?

So ... Um ... what nice weather ... :o

[Jac]

Am I missing some private jokes here?;)

Talking about others, even for the purposes of solving problems, usually helps no one. I agree with you, Clip, that not talking is probably better than talking, when you're stressed out. Take a walk, listen to music, work harder, take a deep breath, get some sleep, go on the computer (;-)).

[ChachChach]

lol, jac, life is one big joke.

clip-if you know its going to go round and round, that would probably be considered lashon hara. however, for some ppl, talking really does help them. some ppl are really "hands on" ppl-they need to sit and go through their problem, examie it from all sides, and they need someone to help them see it more clearly.

[Jac]

<< jac, life is one big joke. >>

What a philosophy for life.
;)

[ChachChach]

works. helps you take whatever happens in stride....nothing can bother you if you realize that life is serious, but not a cause for depression;)

[PeaceInIsrael]

chachchach, nice philosophy.
but not when you have true stress in life. like sickness c"v.
when it comes down to it, its your trust in g-d that gets you through. nothing more, nothing less.

bc if you think about it, nothing really makes sense in this world.
i say that bc we are not g-d and we do not know his plan.
if we really believe this then the "bigger pills" in life might be easier to swallow.

[Jac]

Peace, I couldn't agree more. Well said.

[Jude]

I just read the following written by a woman who works with people with cancer:

"I have come to realize how much stress is caused by the sad fact that many of us believe in one way and live in quite another. Stress may be more a matter of personal integrity than time pressure, determined by the distance between our authentic values and how we live our lives."

This idea has been popping in various threads in this forum ...

[Jude]

I read the following:
"Humor is, hands down, the most effective and simplest tool for dealing with tension, surprise, and inconsistency, three irritants we all encounter daily."

[Lubamessimaniac]

You think YOU have stress??? Well remind yourself of a woodpecker: HE's got stress - to put put a coupla worms on the table he has to bang his head into a tree at 1300 miles per hour!!! That FIFTEEN times per SECOND!

Sorry - nobody competes with that!

[Jac]

A word from the Rebbe on stress --or more accurately, anxiety. (I think they're pretty closely related.):

First, the Rebbe explains that strengthening bitachon in Divine Providence is crucial--if we know that all is Hashgacha Pratis, it will be obvious to us that all is good.

Then the Rebbe gives another observation about anxiety, and this is where I feel that it really relates to being stressed out. He writes: "Even is such cases where you think you know the reason for your anxiety the reason is undoubtedly imaginary, or at any rate, not the real cause. For the real cause is that one's daily life is not in complete harmony witht he true essence of a Jew. IN such a case, it is imossible not to have an awkward feeling that that somehow things do not seem to fit, and it is this disharmony which is at the bottom of the anixety, and it is in porportion to the discrepancy between his way of life and his true natural self...." (from a letter of the Rebbe, dated 5725, page 54 of the Letter and the Spirit, a compilation of letters of the Rebbe in English)

Kind of applicable to all us, in some ways, isn't it? Reexamine where you're holding in ruchinus to determine the REAL cause of your stress!

[ChachChach]

that's a very interesting approach...so chassidic like...instead of dealing with the surface problem, go to the root, and wipe out the source of the problems:)

thanks for sharing

[iamachassid]

Originally posted by Lubamessimaniac
You think YOU have stress??? Well remind yourself of a woodpecker: HE's got stress - to put put a coupla worms on the table he has to bang his head into a tree at 1300 miles per hour!!! That FIFTEEN times per SECOND!

Sorry - nobody competes with that!

Like the rest of us, the woodpecker's stress is custom made for him. I realized something very strongly, that pain and stress can't be measured and equated. You can't know how heavy someone else's peckel is and if it's lighter or heavier than yours. It's not a competition, it's personal!

[farshtuptemench]

I usually have the most stress in school when things dont go my way or i dont get the mark i want, too much homework, etc. I normally let it out on the back of the student in front of me (by means of massage) i always feel like squeezing s/t or punching s/t she enjoys the massage and i relieve my stress.

I am also gonna go back to the idea that someone mentioned previously. that is the idea of physical excersize. Once a week i take a gym class which normally is on my most stressful day of the week. that phsyical work rejuvinates me for the rest of the week so i am not so stressed and can work with a clearer head.

With the physical workout you dont resort as much to food so u dont become more stressed that your gaining wieght. ;)

[hishtatchus]

I like to let out my stress with LOUD music and singing along. It lets out the pent-up energy and rage, and if it's upbeat music, cheers you up as well. Two birds with one stone :).

[Jude]

rage? :shocked:

[hishtatchus]

Shem Hamushal :D. [?:angry:?]

[iamachassid]

phew! that's a relief! One less stressful thing for us! :silly:

[iamachassid]

Originally posted by ChachChach
stress: exertion of force, compression, weight, burden, oppression.

that, according to "babylon.com" is the defintion of what you feel often. doesnt sound so bad, eh?

symptons of stress:

loss of appetite (too much ice cream snacked cause of nervousness)
loss/gain of weight (snicker...right...loss...heheh...)
loss of energy you, no?:))

ChachChach, don't laugh too hard but I usually don't have much of an appetite and I can, without much effort, lose a lot of weight very fast, especiallly when I'm going through a hard time. Don't judge and don't laugh if B"H you don't know about different things. (That's a message for me, too).

[Jude]

Don't judge and don't laugh if B"H you don't know about different things.

the comment was definitely not meant to mock anyone
it was assumed by the poster that the vast majority of people are concerned about their weight being too high and how to get it down, than the opposite

[Jude]

I got this in an e-mail:

I've had 3 potentially stressful and
always serious medical procedures during
the past few weeks:
The first was a ... ultrasound
examination. Then, a ... And
finally, cataract surgery.
Thank G-d all three went well.
I had made up my mind: "No fretting!"
I can say that I did not spend 5 minutes
worrying, thinking about it, imagining.
I took as my theme, my great Rebbi's
motto: "Never ask
"why", not even "what", only "What now?""
My Rebbi used it in theological
matters, but I applied it to daily practical
ones. Not why has something happened, or
even exactly what has happened, but
WHAT IS BEING REQUIRED OF ME AND
WHAT MUST I DO NOW.
It worked!
I was able to control my conscious thinking
and prevent myself from involving myself
and others in unproductive worry and
anxiety.
May we always be the recipients of
Hashem's gratuitous gifts and may the only
thing required of us be, showing Him our
unlimited gratitude and thanks.

[farshtuptemench]

amazing

[Jude]

http://www.aish.com/societyWork/society/The_Cheerio_King.asp